#I feel this applies to so many things but like
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I’m sorry to come to you like this since you probably wanted someone to come in for a reason for hope but I’m freaking out and have no one to talk to about this rn. A music artist I follow put this stuff in their story on instagram..how are things getting better??? I’m so confused and scared. I’m terrified to be alive. I should’ve died in election night. Idk if I can do this anymore. I don’t want the world to end nor live in an apocalypse/dystopia. I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough. I’m going to die before I even reach the age of 25 or 30 instead of dying of old age😥😥😥😥😥
First, breathe.
Second:
Go read these links. Keep going down the list until you feel better:
Read:
this article* on why the doomers are wrong
everything in Fix the News's awesome year-end roundup* of good news
everything in my masterpost on why we're going to beat climate change
everything from my masterpost on net negative carbon emissions
everything in Fix the News's archives, until you feel better
*it's a fantastic article in many ways but warning for (brief but serious) fatphobia and some annoying Western-centrism. Warning for fatphobia also applies to (one point on the) Fix the News roundup.
You should not have died on election night. Absolutely not. Yes, there are great injustices in the world. But this too shall pass. Literally everything does.
Some notes:
This isn't the end of the world. It's not about to be an apocalypse. And, if the world wasn't a dystopia when half of all people died before the age of 15 (aka all of history until the past 250 years), it's definitely not a dystopia now, imho. (x, x)
Literally every single week on Fix the News, I see the news that some country has ended some disease! Usually I see multiple stories about that each week! We're making real progress that has saved billions of lives!
In 1900, 120 years ago, there were 5 full liberal democracies in the entire world. Now, about 97 countries (out of approximately 195, depending on how you count) are democracies. That's almost half the countries in the world! This is actually, writ large, a time of massive expansion of human rights, hard as it is to believe from looking at the news. (x, x)
Also Imho the most likely explanation to the Fermi Paradox is that we're only 0.13% of the way through expected lifespan of the universe (x, x). Very little time for life to evolve, comparatively.
Finally:
Unfollow this person. Unfollow everyone who posts something that makes you feel suicidal - literally and ongoingly, every time you see a post that makes you spiral, immediately unfollow that person.
It's not about sticking your head in the sand. If you want, you can calendar time to check ACTUAL news sources (NOT social media) a couple times a week to make sure you're staying up on things.
But you know what? The number one priority is keeping yourself alive.
How are things actually getting better? To quote the first article I linked:
"I could tell you that a little more than 200 years ago, nearly half of all children born died before they reached their 15th birthday, and that today it’s less than 5 percent globally. I could tell you that in pre-industrial times, starvation was a constant specter and life expectancy was in the 30s at best. I could tell you that at the dawn of the 19th century, barely more than one person in 10 was literate, while today that ratio has been nearly reversed. I could tell you that today is, on average, the best time to be alive in human history."
Stay alive. And do what you need to do to keep yourself that way.
#strawberryraviegutz#ask#cw suicidal ideation#life#hope#hope for humanity#hope posting#us politics#uh very sincere apologies if you wanted me to answer this privately
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a lot of "why are we hating on fernsong he's a good boy :(" energy pops up whenever people start getting more critical or petty about ivyfern but it's like. no i truly get it. he is her personalityless nothingburger heteronormative husband she was unceremoniously slapped together with for next gen kids, and the fandom LOVES him because of one scene that implies the bare minimum of decent fatherhood (not even shown on screen. doesnt come to fruition) that suddenly means their offscreen relationship is queering up gender norms or whatever and the best leap for feminism in the series. if i was an ivypool stan id be bitter about that too wtf
#i never really projected any of my lesbianism as a kid onto ivypool. that went to cinderpelt yellowfang hollyleaf and later leafpool#but i joined the fandom around the time ivyfern was just coming up and feelings on them were initially very negative#but then turned around very quickly and thoroughly after the den dad scene until he was genuinely beloved#because of this “malewife/girlboss” dynamic people can apply to them that's kind of shallow and nothing#the side of it i do understand is the concept of ivypool maybe finding a partner who cares about her and this helping her cope#with her inarguably very traumatic childhood. i know she's a very relatable character for many so it can be positive to read into#but like. respectfully 90% of the stuff to do with their relationship is pure headcanon and that take definitely isnt for everyone#i cannot blame a single person on the planet for being bitter about it. i would be too#“but what if they're bi4bi or t4t” respectfully they are textually cishet. interepetations are headcanon and not universal. im sorry#not that there's anything wrong w headcanons but i dont think being sad about heteronormativity in the series is bi or transhet erasure#ALSO the whole clearly related via prophecy thing. i dont think it's the biggest issue ever but i dont blame people for being uncomfortable#ivypool is a main character and it's a warrior cats incest oopsie that anyone reading the books can pick up on bc it is plot relevant LOL
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thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.
like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.
And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).
And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.
And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.
And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.
Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.
I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.
anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.
#AND THEN of course how the whole control theme applies in terms of sex lmao. that man needs to be gently topped/dommed soooo bad#so much internalized shame and fear and he just wants someone who will see it & love him anyway#very much on theme to resent a thing (control) in everyday spaces but desire the inverse in the bedroom/forbidden spaces as a way to explor#it safely etc etc etc. fear of losing control vs desire to submit plus all the torture stuff mixed up in there oooohhh what a mess#themes of resistance etc etc You Get Me or you think im insane either is fine. anyway#dragon age: veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#spite dellamorte#lucanisposting#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#ramblings#dragon age#need to rip a pillow into shreds or somethign AHG im pacing around too fulll of Lucanis Thoughts this early in the day#this is usually a 3am hobby but im 12 hours early#but i think finally this is some watsonian reasoning that makes me more chill about the doyalist failures i have with the writing for him#this may be incomprehensible i did Not proofread it#jade plays dav#juniper x lucanis
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December 30, 2024
Arijit Chakravarty: “Learn to live with it,” for other diseases doesn’t mean the same thing as we have applied to COVID. When we say we must learn to live with leprosy, we don’t mean let’s make sure everybody has leprosy. When we say we must learn to live with malaria, we don’t mean let’s make sure everyone gets malaria as often as possible, let’s keep mosquitoes lurking in our tanks outside our house. No one says you must learn to live with tuberculosis. Let’s let it spread as much as possible and see how that goes. No, we suppress those diseases every step along the way. We suppress dengue. We suppress tuberculosis. This whole idea that learning to live with the disease means permitting and encouraging its rampant spread and rapid evolution is just so many levels of stupidity that I don’t have a word for it.
Benjamin Mateus: I’d like to know your thoughts on Trump and RFK Jr., his choice for secretary of health? RFK Jr. has been at the head of vaccine disinformation and anti-public health policies. They are calling for ending any cooperation with the World Health Organization. These will have immense consequences for public health globally. These are political questions, but often I hear scientists do not want to engage in political questions and feel uncomfortable about it. Can we avoid the political implications?
AC: Look, it’s not that I don’t want to get political. It’s that if I was going to get political, I don’t know who to hold up as an example. There’s not a government in the world that has handled this correctly. There’s not a party in this world that’s handled it correctly. It’s all different flavors of stupid. Pick your poison. The Democrats went out of their way to normalize mass infection. They went out of their way to lie about the vaccines and say, “If you’re vaccinated, the pandemic was over.” That was completely unnecessary. It was completely at odds with science. Then you have Trump in the first Trump administration saying, “Why don’t you drink some bleach?” It would be a comedy if the consequences weren’t so grave. Frankly, wherever you go it’s like this. You look at Canada’s Bonnie Henry (Canadian epidemiologist and physician) in British Columbia. On day one she insisted that the kids wouldn’t get infected. Then she went and published a paper, put her own name on it, bragging about how herd immunity has been achieved because 90 percent of Canadian kids have been infected. In the UK you had the hearings on the public health response by the UK government. They noted that the government failed to act quickly. There was no clear policy approach, and they even abandoned contact tracing in mid-March of 2020. They even said that masks don’t help stop the spread and the virus wasn’t airborne. It’s a disgrace. Politicians worldwide have decided that they can brazen out their way through this. And the reason for this is they’ve been advised by a certain set of scientists, a relatively small number of scientists, who have essentially sold out. There are tens of thousands of papers, if not hundreds of thousands of papers, on the risks of COVID. You could literally find thousands of scientists who would be willing to go up in front of the House of Representatives and testify that getting COVID repeatedly is bad for you. Where are those scientists? Nobody’s listening to them. They’re listening to the scientists who whisper in their ears and say that everything will be okay. Ryan Gregory and I wrote a Substack blog post a while back called Calm Mongering where we talk about this—that people have weaponized the logic of science in the service of propaganda by saying, “that’s just a hypothesis.” As soon as you bring up a risk, these “experts” shut down the conversation about the risk by saying we’re not sure that’ll happen. But in fact, that’s an inversion of the precautionary principle. And it’s a lot of the tactics that were used by the merchants of doubt during the tobacco era. The merchants of doubt were a subset of a very small number of corrupt, well-connected and well-funded scientists who went out of their way to make public statements that were at odds with the body of literature that was coming out on lung cancer and tobacco. And we are seeing the exact same thing again. Big tobacco sponsored a bunch of corrupt scientists to create a counter-narrative to reality. This time around, who’s playing the role of big tobacco? It’s the politicians and governments. But the exact same thing is playing out. That nexus between this group of corrupt scientists and politicians who are actively funding their work is a global phenomenon. Unfortunately, I hate to say this, but it’s going to take reality breaking through to solve this. They’ve been very effective at convincing people that this is not a problem you need to worry about.
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It doesn't matter.
If you have done everything you can to try to get the life you want and nothing works, it doesn't matter why you got that way. All that matters is don't keep trying to get love and letting people use your desire for it against you.
I'm pretty sure it's not actually real. And it's just something they made up to sell soap.
So that's the model I work with.
As long as I refuse to allow myself to believe anyone loves me, everything works out well. When I break that, people hurt me.
People will guilt you into saying it's because you don't pick the right people but no matter what criteria you use it's always the same. And no matter what treatments you apply to yourself, it's always the same. And no matter how many new styles of communication you learn to talk to other people, it's always the same.
For me the only thing that kind of worked was doing sex work and being super fake and having several hundred shallow fake relationships that had a lot of sex and weren't boring and miserable, because whenever I've tried to not date and just hang out and do other things like working or something either people bother me all the time and are really mean and annoying or they are always "conveniently" introducing me to people they want to fix me up with. Men and women and like? Those people are always basically on the same emotional level as the people I have already dated and seem really shy and kind of uninterested in me. When I talk them out of their shell, they seem still shy, like they basically admire me for not seeming shy to them and like how I dress but don't have anything in common with me and we wouldn't have anything to talk about, or they have kind of a mental picture of a type of super assertive girl who will be into their lack of experience and want to like... put spices on them and let them sit on the counter top for a full moon cycle and then write out a recipe for them that they can use to attract someone who will love them now that they aren't virgins or something, and they don't want to admit that to me up front, which is very mean to do, to want someone to like... be your character development without asking and then not let them prepare to be left with nothing from that interaction in exchange for being a cute story you talk about with your future spouse or whatever.
Most people don't seem to want a relationship with a particular person or a particular type of relationship or even like have considered their own potential deal breakers. Not "I didn't realize this thing I thought everyone did wasn't a thing everyone did" or "i was wrong about my needs in certain areas" or whatever. They genuinely have no idea like what they do for fun that is a group activity, and they make you spend like an hour trying to figure out what they want every time they want something and most of the time when you give it to them they're unhappy.
It's like people want me to be in a relationship just so I'll be in a relationship and other people want to be in a relationship with me just to be in a relationship and even people with lots of money who can leave and who spend all their time complaining about their relationship don't want to leave their relationship. And when I'm like "I don't want to be in a relationship right now because I'm broke or whatever and I wouldn't be able to leave a relationship easily." People are like *shocked pika* why wouldn't you go enter into a relationship with someone who wants to date you based on you having a normal level of kind conversation that you would have with a person on the street and being able to give them sex? Why would you not want to break up with the person you are dating and date a random old man who did your boss a favor once because he gave you a ride in his truck? Why would you not just let other people make major life decisions for you? Why are you not jumping at every chance we give you when it doesn't look or feel right?
It feels like the goal of the whole thing is having someone else to blame for your problems. I don't wanna do that to someone. I hate when stuff isn't my fault and I have to suffer for it anyway. That's why I cut my own hair and pierce my own ears and stuff. So if it gets messed up, it's just an accident and it's because I have never done that before and I just need to figure out how to fix it and I can take all the time I need instead of trying to like... figure out the magic buttons to push to get someone who broke something to be willing to admit they messed up and will try to fix it and like... having to wonder if I can trust them if they're a specially trained and certified expert and they aren't better at doing something than a person who went on the internet and read a tutorial and kind of guessed.
Idk. It's like if you told me most people in the world don't like sex or dating or anything and they aren't in love either and there's like some kind of mystic force that attacks people who don't live with a partner by such and such a time and have a kid by such and such a time and no one told me? I'd totally be like
"That explains everything."
Was I raised without love or was I born unlovable?
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My least favorite placements (personal opinion)
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃
• please remember that these are just my personal takes and observations mostly based on people I’ve met/know and if it doesn’t apply to you, it’s most likely aimed at the undeveloped versions of the placement! 💕
#1: Virgo moons
I’m sorry I have way too many people in my life with this placement (especially family members) and y’all just know how to get under people’s skin. Every virgo moon I’ve met seems to physically be unable to hold back their unwanted opinions and criticism. Y’all will serve the meanest comment on a silver platter when no one asked or wanted to hear that shit in the first place and then label it as “just being honest/trying to help” like nah you’re just straight up being annoying. So many virgo moons are also control freaks and want to project their routines and habits onto other people and enforce all their little rules onto them and expect everyone to accommodate them and their needs without considering other people’s needs. Also, this placement tends to be very insecure with themselves and their own inner critics so must of the time they also protect their insecurities onto other people cause they can’t fix them within themselves and that’s probably also why they dish out little snarky critiques to the people around them. They can also be way too pessimistic and “conservative” which gets on my nerves sm like you take these people somewhere on a night out and they complain about the music being “too loud” or people “talking too much and being annoying” like chill Karen. Stop trying to be a perfectionist babe, it’s okay to make mistakes
#2: Venus/sun/stellium in the 10H
Having this placement on its own in your natal chart is a blessing in a sense because you may receive a lot of good luck when it comes to your public reputation and people like you but personally, I feel like being around people with this placement isn’t as great. A lot of people I know with this placement tend to come off as superficial or “social climbers” who use others for career and reputation benefits. These are the types of friends that will ditch you if you’re not popular enough or if people are gossiping about you because they want to make themselves look good and will ignore you in public but then be your bestie in private cause they don’t wanna be seen with you. They also only seem to always talk about their image or what other people think about them. For example, I know people with this placement who would complain about their social media or followers every time we hung out. They would always complain about losing followers or why they can’t “have enough followers” and what to do to gain many. I had friends with this placement who would also ask for a lot but never give in return and put themselves on a high pedestal thinking they are constantly worthy of praise or deeds from others. On the downside, these people may put a false mask to the public. They can appear as kind and good-hearted when in reality they may not be that way and know how to manipulate in order to get what they want.
#3: Leo/Sag mercuries
I will say that these people are super fun and know how to tell the best stories and they are also very good at making people feel included in their life. However, on the flipside people with this placement seem to live in a world that is only made for them and only has space for them to be in. I’ve met so many ppl with Leo & sag mercuries and it always seems so hard for them to acknowledge the fact that other people have feelings too and what they say can hurt others. They just think of themselves as the main character most of the time which when they do it excessively, it becomes really annoying. I feel like people with this placement just don’t have the ability to be introspective and reflect on their actions and things they say to understand if maybe someone took it the wrong way or if they’re being too much. They also have little to no patience or tolerance when someone else is speaking and they find it impossible to let someone tell their full story without interrupting or sharing something about themself like it’s okay to let others have the spotlight for once (Im a Leo moon so I’m lowkey dragging myself a bit here). Also similar to virgo moons, they may make rude or “honest” comments because they are very direct and when someone expresses that it hurts them, they get super defensive and fail to see it from another person’s perspective. Also talking louder doesn’t mean you won the argument
#4: Gemini Venus
Please figure out what you want omdssss. Being in a relationship with these people is not for the weak let me tell you. I have an Aquarius Venus so in some aspects I get along well with Gemini Venus but in others it’s like I can never read their mind and they’re constantly changing it every 5 seconds. You would expect these people to be very good and open communicators since they’re associated w mercury but most of the time it just feels like they’re on a non-stop adventure with whatever their brain tells them to do and you just have to guess what they want and do it or they’ll get bored of you and ghost you. I know y’all need constant mental stimulation but I feel like most of the time the other person is offering that to you but you just want an excuse to get with someone else. CHEATERS. Especially the men with this placement. Options exist and y’all love that. Also in general and with friends these people can be very flakey they’ll make it feel like you’re their best friend one day then you barely know them the next.
#5: Moon square Mars or Pluto/moon in the 8H
These people know how to get what they want and can be incredibly manipulative. Be careful and try not to play their game cause once you do, it’s a never-ending mind fuck. Many people I know with this placement are the definition of “secret opps” or your “secret haters”. They most likely have a lot of unresolved baggage or problems so they look for any opportunity to hurt someone else and take it out on them (when the placement is unhealthy/undeveloped ofc). Also, this placement to me screams “evil/narcissist” mother. These people probably had a mother that was really controlling or emotionally toxic and they grew up repeating her habits and will continue to act just like her. My step sister has one of these placements and she would do whatever manipulative things her mother put in her head, to other people and report back to her like a dog. These people are usually completely blinded and owned by their mothers. They’ve most likely had life on hard mode and they resent anyone who’s had things going better for them and they find it hard to be happy and supportive of others. Everytime I see this placement in someone’s birth chart, I know not to share too many details with them or trust them that easily cause they know how to hide and are calculated with betraying you.
#6: Cancer Sun
Idk some of them just rub me the wrong way. It really depends on their other placements but usually cancer suns with air placements in their chart get on my nerves cause they can be so passive aggressive and when you meet them at first glance you get this vibe that they’re trying their best to be fake nice to you but they secretly have it out for you. These people are moody asf bonus points if they have a water rising and when you ask them what’s wrong they’ll just sulk in silence and have an attitude until you actively do something to give them attention or make things better. These people also hold a grudge for life and sometimes over the dumbest and smallest things. They’re the type of people to dedicate their whole life to hating you cause you accidentally bumped into them when walking past them. Also their victim mentality is so tiring, they constantly seek attention and validation over small things and have a hard time taking accountability for their actions and admitting they were wrong.
#astrology#astrology observations#zodiac#zodiac signs#astrology notes#zodiac observations#horoscope#gemini#leo#sag#cancer#8th house#10th house#moon sign#virgo#virgo moon#gemini venus#leo mercury#sagittarius#Pluto#moon#astrology placements
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Rayllum, 10 babies and Xadian family planning
I’m trying to post the next chapter of Dark Alternative, but AO3 is very wonky, so you’re going to be subjected to my rambling thoughts on my new WIP for Work in Progress Wednesday.
So, over my vacation, I’ve been plagued by post-season 7 fanfic ideas. Short fics, obviously. No more than three chapters, as usual.
What’s got me intrigued right now, is how the continent of Xadia, or at least, a select group of people, will manage with living with the knowledge that Aaravos, in some form, is coming back in seven years. How would that affect politics and society, as well as the individual characters and the choices they make knowing that?
The regular folks would struggle to miss that whole eternal darkness and dead creatures thing that happened, but what do they know about exactly what went down?
And what do they know about what’s to come?
You know me, I’m a Rayllum person, so pretty much any fic of mine is a Rayllum fic, and this current idea is focused on how this particular threat affects the next stage of their lives.
Without a doubt, when we last saw Rayllum they were totally committed to each other and are fully ride or die… but how would that devotion relate to their future, in particular, the subject of children?
Now, I’m an angster in my deep dark heart, so while I’m sure many people could conceive of a fic where Rayllum are secure in their ability to defeat Aaravos come round two, that ain’t where my brain was ever going to go.
Rayllum are in love and clearly want a future together. Callum was openly planning a quaint little one in the Silvergrove before they were rudely interrupted by the whole end of the world dealio.
So, where does that leave them now (in my angsty reality anyway)?
In their youth, they both leaned into their more paranoid natures (Rayla leaving without Callum in TTM and Callum getting physical with Soren in season 4), and while they’ve both grown and matured since then, would such a threat as the world ending be enough to bring that paranoia right on back?
Which leaves me with my current fic planning conundrum.
Assuming Rayllum decided to forego the whole having kids thing until Aaravos is imprisoned again, how likely is it that they could plan when to have a family.
I’ve seen people say that the world of The Dragon Prince is in a medieval setting, and so people had children younger then, which, aside from not being the entire story, doesn’t feel like it really applies to a world with magic and dragons, a world that lacks the sexism and gender roles that are also associated with medieval times or other more grounded works set then.
Additionally, looking at canon, I think it could be reasonably argued that some form of birth control is readily available in the setting. In fact, I think it’s likely multiple forms of birth control exist in the world of The Dragon Prince.
From humans to elves, we don’t see large families normally associated with the inability to plan a family via the use of effective birth control. The “largest” family we see are the Sunfire monarchs, with three children. Viren and Lissa had two children only. Sarai may well have had more children had she lived, but Rayla’s parents spent multiple years at the Storm Spire and she remained an only child.
I can’t imagine there’s much in the way of entertainment at the Storm Spire either. Sure, they could abstain or get creative, but oof, hasn’t enough been asked of them?
Even looking at prior generations, we do not see large families. Given the closeness in ages of the siblings we know of, it also seems unlikely to me that children were lost in childbirth or to childhood illnesses.
To me, it seems far more likely that family planning is active in Xadia and would be a tool Callum and Rayla could exercise.
Clearly, no birth control is infallible (or I guess it can be, magic and all) and I assume Miyana’s twins were unplanned.
Personally, I head canon Rayla herself was an oopsie baby in order to further explain the complications of her parents being called away to join the Dragon Guard.
Where am I going with this? I don’t even know anymore.
I suppose, to me, it’s not a foregone conclusion that in seven years Rayllum would have a kid (or indeed multiple). The setting of the world doesn’t imply that it’s particularly difficult to prevent pregnancy. In fact, the small families imply to me that family planning is a cultural norm among elves and humans.
Faced with the imminent threat of Aaravos’ return, would Rayllum plan to start a family? Certainly, people put off having children for far lesser reasons.
We also don’t know how using dark magic, even in that limited capacity, has affected Callum and the potential for him to get possessed again. It was clearly enough to physically mark him, but does that go deeper?
Would imprisoning Aaravos once again result in an inevitable possession?
Not great when Dad gets taken over and abandons the family.
Or worse, Mum has to take him out.
Angsty though!
As usual, I’ll be doing my own thing in my fics, but I’m interested to see where Arc 3 goes with this (optimistically assuming we get it). There are a lot of factors at play to explain why we might see a lot of the characters in a state of stasis. Seven years isn’t that long when you’re facing the world ending, after all. Particularly when you’re likely to play a very active part in trying to stop that returning apocalypse.
So, which way to go? I see the angst potential in both.
On one hand, you’ve got the pain and desperation of protecting your kid from a returned Aaravos, or perhaps worse, a possessed Dad.
But on the other, you’ve got two people who likely want to take the next steps in their lives, but feel the pressure of a ticking bomb haunting them and potentially preventing them from moving forward.
Either way, bring on the pain.
#coz like I assume they be making sandwiches in those seven years#this be how I plan my fics some times#behold… a process#rayllum#tdp#the dragon prince#rayla#callum#tdp rayla#tdp callum#tdp speculation#tdp worldbuilding
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Wanted to ask about this for a while but you had asks off, you mentioned having experienced hetero(ish) relationships from "both sides", so like, do you have any interesting observations or perspectives you think most people don't know about?
Ah yes, the bisexual transgender eye. There's lots to say here, and I don't think much of it hasn't been said before. I don't think my observations are limited to what I'm rambling about here, but here's some surface level ones.
Btw, this is probably going to be my post with the most weirdly gendered thing of anything I've posted here. I hope its abundantly clear that I don't think any of this intrinsic or morally good, its just my observation on how heterosexuals act towards each other while dating. This isn't about the boxes men and women should be in, its about the boxes that society has put them in.
I think that dating apps are intensifying stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" dating roles in heterosexual relationships. Eg, encouraging men to "take the intitiative", oftentimes enabling harassing behavior in the process. This, in turn, forces women to screen and shut down men extremely harshly. Except, because of the entire dynamic that's being set up now, this makes a lot of men think women are "playing the game", and again, enables harassment from them.
I recently deleted all my dating apps, but even before then, I had them set to women and enbies/other only for a long time. Her was my primary app, but it has a very small userbase where I live.
Irl, men absolutely take the initiative more than women, but less aggressively than online. There's a huge added element of fear because of the in person aspect, however, and when meeting up, men can be extremely pushy.
The "toxic girlboss" angle of this is that this is often fun to play with. If you're clearly communicating in a serious context, and have established systems of consent that extend to communication as well as the bedroom, playing with "the chase" is... intoxicating. Having a man wrapped around your finger is really fucking fun. It has to feel safe and fun for both parties involved, though. You need to be able to "break character" at any point and have direct conversations, either about boundaries or directly communicating a want or need.
Obviously I haven't publicly been a woman for very long, so my experience isn't vast and limitless or anything. But I've had a few wonderful romantic entanglements with men already. Luckily for me, one of these is ongoing 😘
As for some of the people I've talked to, but never gotten far with.... cishet men are really stupid. I'm sorry but like. Y'all are. There's a lot to be said about how society normalizes male incompetence in heterosexual relationships (eg, the dopey husband stereotype) but I think this also extends to the early stages of a relationship. Men very frequently bitch and moan about "games" while not realizing that they play just as many "games" themselves. Oftentimes, those games involve being overly pushy with everything, and then not communicating their own limits and what they want out of a situation, expecting women to figure it all out for them. Eg, they want to bring forward unlimited energy and pushiness, but expect women to be the ones that whittle them down to what they actually want. This applies both romantically and sexually. Men have a lot of emotional needs, of course, and yes its a problem that they're often not met. But a huge part of that is society discouraging them from openly communicating what they want.
I guess to summarize all of this, I feel like so much of modern dating is essentially a process of elimination, where men are constantly encouraged to push and say yes, and women are constantly encouraged to shut them down for their own safety, and if they're lucky, they eventually reach a healthy dynamic by sheer process of elimination. Which... really isn't fun, and leaves a lot of room open for frustration.
Queer relationships and flirting provide a lot of open communication that hetero dynamics don't. I've had the most luck in "heterosexual" dynamics with queer or queer adjacent people, and literally everyone I've ever gotten past the initial stages of "talking" with has been at least a little bi, by their own admission. It's not that straight men aren't interested in me, or that straight women weren't interested in me before, its just that these are the people who will understand my existence as a queer woman the best and communicate with me the most openly.
I probably could say more, but that's a summary, I guess. I know its weird and stereotypical, but unfortunately, heterosexual dating is pretty much the most gendered possible environment you could be in. I feel like Jane Goodall in there sometimes, but hey. Ya gotta do what you gotta do.
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I thought the only one that can have wrist pain is adults with job, but I'm still a teenager and already have it. It got to the point that I can't draw or write for days and it frustrated me. I don't want to be an attention seeker to my parents so i want to know your opinion on it.
anyone can be experiencing pain for whatever reason, it doesn't matter what age you are, you can sprain or injure yourself quite easily on accident. injuries and pains don't have to be from repetitive stress, it can also come from sudden trauma, inflammation around your joints, connective tissue problems and so on. if you aren't able to get the pain to go away after stretching, applying heat and/or cold, resting it, etc. and it persists, it's definitely worth telling someone about, because the normal amount of pain to be in is none!
it's really sad that people make each other feel like attention seekers for needing medical assistance. why do people think those jobs are so plentiful and high paying? it's because they take care of people, they're very busy, they are working very hard for a lot of different people in a lot of different situations. most people end up needing to go to the doctor many times throughout their lives for a variety of reasons and it's so normal. it's okay to want to get checked up, you never know.
especially when you're still physically maturing, things may not be setting into place or growing correctly, or you may be showing symptoms of a condition that is developing. it's always best to be safe, in my book. i've ignored things that i thought were nothing and then it turned out to be very serious. we're all taught to do that. but medical services are there to be used. biology is very strange and human bodies mess up in a lot of ways. i hope that helps, good luck, stay safe out there
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One Soul | Matt Murdock x Reader
Matt Murdock Masterlist
Summary: Matt gets hurt, badly, so you have to do the one thing you promised him you wouldn't: take him to a hospital.
Warnings: Angst, life-threatening injury, blood, temporary Major Character Death (he comes back, don't worry), mentions of CPR, religious imagery, conflicted relationship with religion, Reader is described as an atheist but Mad At God, prayer, hurt/comfort
A/n: This is a little angst piece I came up with yesterday. For me, personally, my atheism isn't always black and white. I know I don't believe in God, but I have found myself cursing him in the past because it was easier than cursing something I did not understand (like the death of a loved one). And I just know that being with Matt, chances are he will get himself hurt badly enough one day to the point he has to be brought to the hospital.
Read Me On AO3!
The heart monitor beside the bed signals at a steady eighty beats per minute. You follow the many lines of tubing from the machines to his frail body, your eyes lingering on the purple bruises adorning his pale skin—deadly pale, it is.
His cheeks, once so full of life, are hollow now. His eyes are swollen, his pretty lips cut, and there is blood stuck to his hair, still, soaking through the bandage they applied. You’ve never seen him so broken, so utterly weak and fragile that you wouldn’t dare touch him. The tears refuse to stop falling.
Years ago, you made a promise. You promised never to take him to a hospital, to protect his identity and him. Hell, he survived the collapse of Midland Circle, albeit with a scattered mind. He had broken bones and a broken spirit, locked away at Clinton Church for weeks, and still, he survived.
Tonight though, for the first time, you felt his heart stop. It wasn’t one of those ghastly nightmares that have been plaguing you ever since you locked Fisk away and he finally came back to you. It wasn’t a product of your imagination; you felt his heart stop. Hands covered in blood, you watched as the life drained from his eyes and he breathed out without breathing in again.
You swear you can still feel his ribs breaking underneath your fingertips. “Don’t do this to me,” you cried. “Don’t you dare do this to me, Matthew! I can’t lose you. Please, come back. Come back!”
And you prayed to a God you don’t believe in not to take him from you. You begged for a chance to hear his heartbeat again, just one last time even if it kills you.
You looked to the sky and swore you’d make a deal with the devil if you had to. You’d do anything for this man; this reckless, stupid force of a man you are so in love with that it hurts sometimes. You would’ve let God crucify you for the whole world to see just to get a chance to look at your beloved Matthew one last time, to know he’s alive. And perhaps God did answer your prayers, or maybe the CPR you’d never done before did its trick for he suddenly took a breath, and his heart started beating again.
You cried over his body like Mary over Jesus. You shielded him as if that would heal him, and he clung to you when he realized what had happened. He coughed, and he was bleeding, and you were paralyzed with the fear of losing him again.
What else were you to do but take him to a place where he could be fixed? If you hadn’t brought him here, he would have died. You shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn't selfish. Yet, the fire within you keeps burning, and your soul keeps hurting as you watch him like a hawk, wondering what he’ll think of you once he wakes up—if he wakes up.
“I know I’m not… religious,” you murmur, eyes directed at the ceiling now. “I’m not a good Catholic, far from it. I’ve done things… well, you know. And I don’t pray. Matt prays. I don’t,” you say. “I just wanna understand why.”
Another tear rolls down your cheek. The coil in your throat is tight enough to strangle the air from your lungs. One of the shards of your broken heart is stuck, and now you’re bleeding. Your soul is laid bare for everyone to see.
It’s pathetic, you think, for an atheist to pray. Because you don’t believe, you never have. Matt believes. He has faith. You’re just… angry? Yes, you are furious, and even more now than ever you feel like it’s all a lie. Where’s the hope? Where’s the faith now?
“Why do you keep letting bad things happen to him?” you ask, your voice breaking. “All he’s ever done is try to please you because he thinks you gave him some kind of purpose. That accident… he thinks it happened for a reason. Going blind, losing every one. After all the hardships and the trouble he got himself into, he thinks he’s some kind of soldier. Even when he was at his lowest and stopped believing, he eventually came back to you. Like a dog on a leash.”
If Matt heard you, he’d be deeply offended. Religion is so important to him, but tonight, he almost died. He almost died before, but it never felt as real as it did tonight, and the thought haunts you like a restless ghost.
“I want to be supportive, I do. I mean, everyone’s beliefs are valid, in a way, but it almost killed him tonight. If you’re up there—if you’re truly listening—how can you just let that happen to someone you claim to love, God? I don’t–” You shake your head. “I just don’t understand.”
The heart monitor keeps beeping. The lights keep flickering. His chest keeps rising. No answer. The disappointment cuts you deep. Is there perhaps a part of you that does want to believe? Or are you just looking for someone, something, to blame? Instead of the men who did this to him, instead of the men who quite literally took him apart, you’re turning to the one thing you can’t touch. But you know it’s not what Matt would want. He’d want you to have hope.
How does one go about that when everything seems to be going wrong? When your very heart is lying in a hospital bed? How does even an atheist not curse God out of pure and utter desperation?
Matt lets out a soft groan, and your eyes flick to him. Your heartbeat accelerates at the same time as his.
“Matt?” you ask, inching closer to the edge of the bed.
He stirs. Every muscle and bone in his body is filled with a dull ache. First dull, then sharp. The stitches in his abdomen pull at the tender flesh with every breath that fills his lungs, the oxygen so rich and concentrated it almost sets him alight. The plastic tubes weigh heavy on his nostrils.
His eyes pulsate, and there is this obnoxiously loud beeping in his ear. It’s screaming, almost. Beep, beep, beep. Faster and faster, and faster. But his eyelids are so heavy he can’t open them. There’s nothing but fire, and for a moment he forgets that he hasn’t been able to see for decades.
In his head, he’s eight years old again, his head wrapped with a bandage that itches his skin so terribly, and the world around him screaming. It’s the same room, it seems, cold and dark and terrifying.
Matt reaches for his eyes, fingers brushing against the bruises that resemble the shape of a fist—no light. He can taste copper on his tongue. The beeping gets louder and his ears are ringing, and why is the blanket made of sandpaper? He wants to tear the skin off his weary bones.
“I can’t–” he breaks off at the foreign sound of his voice. Another trace of his fingertips against the bruised skin. “I can’t see,” he chokes out.
“Matt!” you say a little louder, your hand finally touching his, and it’s as if the bubble he’s in bursts.
He recognizes your voice. He remembers he’s blind. He remembers going out last night and kissing you goodbye. He was in good spirits then. But something went wrong. Somehow, his opponent had weaponry that could easily break through the protective material of his suit. He stood no chance against the number of men coming at him. They sliced and they hit, and he thought he saw God, but it was just the swinging ceiling light inside the abandoned factory building. It smelled of mold and water.
He fought until he couldn’t bear it anymore. Until the opportunity to flee presented itself, and so Matt crawled home to you. With every last ounce of strength, he honored his promise to always come back home to you.
He doesn’t remember much more, only falling down the stairs to the rooftop access to the living room. The crash. Your gasp. Your heartbeat. And then, nothing. Nothing but the comfort of darkness.
“Hey,” you smile through your tears, “It’s me. You’re okay.”
He whispers your name, and you squeeze his hand.
“I’m here. Try not to move,” you tell him. “You’re at Metro General.”
The word makes his breath stutter. “The hospital?” he inquires.
“Yes. You were hurt… badly. They had to take out your spleen. Fifty-something stitches. Some brain swelling. I don’t know, it’s a lot.”
“I told you,” he grunts, “no hospitals.”
Matt Murdock is not an ungrateful man. However, his words cut deep. You can’t take much more.
“You promised, no–”
“You died!” you cry out. The echo bounces off the walls and resonates in his ears like the sound of a bomb going off.
“You died in my arms and I had to–” You look at your hands, stained with blood, “I had to break your ribs to bring you back. Your bones… breaking,” you cry. “You died and I thought I was gonna lose you, for good. You can blame me for breaking a stupid promise, but if I hadn’t, I’d be preparing a funeral now!”
His head tilts in his direction—you’re serious—and his defenses fall like an iron curtain, shattering like glass. The sound of your voice in such a state of disarray, death by a thousand cuts.
He almost died. Or, he did die, and you brought him back, but the things you had to do for that… you brought him back, but it hurt you. He hurt you. He swore he would never do so again, only over his dead body, yet it was his dead body that almost broke you.
Matt never wanted any of this to happen. The love of his life, traumatized. What kind of man does that? Surely the kind of man that no one but the one person he never deserved mourns when he’s gone.
The silence drags on, suffocating you. “Do you get that?” you ask, barely above a whisper. “Do you get that I’d die without you?”
“I’m so sorry,” Matt whispers. “I don’t remember…”
“Of course, you don’t. You’ve never been this hurt.”
“Sweetheart.”
“I would’ve traded your life for mine if I could’ve. I tried, Matt, I did. I prayed to God and told him to take me instead while I was trying to get your heart beating again. And I blamed Him for doing this to you ‘cause I didn’t know who else to blame.”
His fingers brush against the back of your hand. A nurse kindly lent you clothes from the lost-and-found, but you can still feel the sticky substance on your skin, crawling like a parasite.
You shudder. “If you hadn’t woken up, I–“
“C’mere,” he says.
Beep, beep, beep, goes the heart monitor, and sirens wail outside his window.
“I can’t,” you whisper back.
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Sweetheart, you could cut out my heart and I’d still want you.”
A shiver runs down your spine, settling in the pit of your stomach. You feel so sick, so detached from everything and everyone, but the piece of you that you almost lost is right there, and he’s alive.
He’s alive.
You have to keep reminding yourself of the fact. His heart is beating. His lungs are filled with air. Those last few hours might have felt like a proper nightmare, but you made it through. He made it through.
“Please,” he pleads. “I… I need you.”
It’s different now. He’s not asking to hold you for your comfort but his own, and without another second thought, you climb into the tiny hospital bed with him.
Matt seeks out the comfort of your chest, but he’s aimless in his agony. You gently guide his head to your heart. Touching him, feeling him so close to you, melts away the last of your fears.
“You scared me,” you confess.
He exhales. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just… promise you’ll live for me.”
The silence wraps a noose around your neck. But then, “You own my heart,” he says.
“So?”
“Yeah, I’ll live for you.”
Those four words mean more to you than a promise to die for you if push comes to shove. Because what are you supposed to do without him? You’d rather he try everything in his power to live for you than leave you.
“If you live for me, too,” he whispers then, and a tear runs from his cheek down your chest. You can’t survive without him, that much is certain. That may sound like a state of unhealthy codependency, but when two people share the same soul, every breath one breathes sustains the other. There’s nothing you can do about that, nor would you ever want to.
“Without you, I’d–” he cuts himself off.
Without you, he’d be lost. Without you, even in death, he would not be able to find peace.
“I promise,” you manage to say, although the words come with a fresh flood of salty tears that mix with the ocean of his.
He relaxes into you. “Thank you.”
As he falls asleep in your arms that night, you find yourself staring up at the ceiling again.
“Don’t fail him,” you whisper. To God, to the universe, to the moon and Saturn, and to yourself.
matt murdock angst tag list: @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @thychuvaluswife @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @thatonegamefish @amberritonicole @pigeonmama @bohemianrhapsody86 @a-gir1-has-n0-name @winkev1 @callsign-ember @chittaphonstar @buckyyyismahhlife @trublu2u @xnatyx @zomtart @steve-chandler @lucienofthelakes @mochie-is-a-librarian @buckyssugarchick
#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock angst#matt murdock fluff#hurt/comfort#daredevil#charlie cox
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Sleep Token is being turned into a brand rather than a band and being commercialised to a point where it will harm them more than help them
An opinion on there being too much ST merch
Befofe starting this, i want to clear up a few things
I am aware that Vessel and ii probably have very little responsibility/say in this and it's the management/rca who is doing this
Yes, i am a fan and i support them. However, it is unhealthy and not good to blindly support every decision and action of your favourite artist, person etc without questioning them and holding them accountable
I know that earning money with music in times of streaming is hard/impossible but that does not justify those moves of tryihg to get as much money as possible out of them
This also applies to other bands, but the extent to which this aapplies to ST is extreme compared to others
We are one week into this year and there has already been a new merch drop. After 6 days. You know when the last one was? Less than a month ago. Same merch shop (US). The items? Some of them questionable (flannels??). The leather jacket? Insane (not in a good way). It looks okay but you could make one yourself and make it look way cooler and get it for less money as one of my tumblr moots said.
I remember last year up until July/August it kind of was a running joke in the fandom about the emails with obtain and how we're too broke to obtain, but now? This is not a joke anymore. Ever since last year we have gotten emails ALMOST EVERY MONTH, sometimes even several times a month about new merch releases.
Yes, there are different stores worldwide, but we live in a time of international shipping. And even for one store it's lots of releases. Plus then there's all the licensed products shops like Hot Topic, Impericon, EMP and whatever their local equivalents are, who also constantly release more merch.
What's even worse: a lot of those things are either a shitty quality (if i remember right, one of the hoodies or tshirts from the EU tour 2024 had the print peeling off after one wash) and/or really bland. Where is the cool art, the thing that makes these items special? I got a tshirt from the German Rituals 2023 with this sick artwork on it that i cherish more than anything. But compared to that most tour merch of the more recent tours has been nothing special.
Most of them just have the logo on it and it reminds me of any ither fashion brand. There's only so many jumpers and t-hsirts and sweatshirts with the logo that a person needs and the constant release of new but actually the same stuff is creating this insane overconsumption which harms fans' bank accounts and the environment and is straight up boring. There's nothing about them that makes them special and unique and cool. It feels like at this point it is a contest of how many ST logos can they plaster on an item before it looks ridiculous (on the leather jacket i counted at least four, three of them massive).
Which brings me to the next point. People just slap on a ST logo because the band is so hyped and to make money off it or get more clicks, even if it is only remotely related to them. I understand that in today's world you need to use buzzwords to make people pay attention, but with ST it has reached the most ridiculous level. The air of anticipation some magazines or brands build around some upcoming stuff with words like Worship and whatever, which everyone connects to ST, just to reveal a mid product or result is just horrible and will eventually make it less effective which can harm the band in the long run if they can't build up excitement for new releases as much as they could because everyone is 'burnt out' because it's been overused.
Overall, this insane amount of merch and using ST to sell anything or get clicks is not okay. The fan base is so dedicated and loyal and we deserve better than to be - for the lack of a better word - exploited like this just because we like and support an artist. Prices for everything have been rising for years and it's hard for a lot of us financially. We spend so much money on concerts already and then the ton of merch and everything on top is just too much. ST as a brand is used to exploit fans which is not how you should treat your fans (again want to emphasise that this is mostly on management and label, not Vessel)
You might think 'But you don't have to go to concerts or buy their merch'. That's right, you don't. But concerts are kind of the thing when you're a fan of a band, and you want to support your fave band abd wear merch and show that you like them. However, the merch and everything is limited and posed in a way that creates FOMO and everyone is always drilled to Consume and Obtain (yes that's how capitalism works and that is not good in this situation because it harms us fans so much.) I can't deny I've given in to this as well twice during the EU shows and i am now left with an underwhelming sweatshirt and a hat that i never really needed and probably wouldn't have bought if i hadn't been in this mindset so much.
'Oh but i want to support Vessel and the band.' Yes, merch does help out artists, especially in times of streaming. But how much do you think they make? Merch is using little to no lyrics or song related things that the band could earn money off due to copyright. And i don't know who owns the right to the logo (i did some research and found someone in management with three trademarks on something ST related but it never specified if that applies to just the name or the logo or the music or whatever - it was not Vessel though). Who knows how much is going to management and the label and how much the band actually earns. Right now it feels like the management and label want to make as much money possible from them for their own gain. As an alternative to support them, start buying their albums and vinyls so they earn more money off their songs.
So, what do i want? Obviously i don't want fans to stop buying merch because it does help artists to some degree. However, I want less merch releases, one or maximum two a year per merch store (so AUS, US and UK/EU). We can have a few simple designs with the logo on it, but i also want some cool pieces with art or something else that makes them special. I know artists are expensive and stuff, but that's why you make less items but higher quality. Make them available in larger quantities so that more people can buy them and they will still get their money. Plus you always have extra tour merch, which is another extra release. Make the merch special again and make it mean something to people instead of just being another logo like a fashion brand.
If they continue like this fans will eventually be unable to afford stuff, people will turn away from merch because they realise it's all the same, and the effect of using ST as a brand/connection simply to sell stuff will harm their reputation (it already is). Whoever is responsible for this merch insanity needs to put a stop to it. Please!
This is just my opinion. Disagree if you want to. Some things, especially the effects of the situation, are portrayed slightly exaggerated, but this is how it makes me feel and I truly believe this is not a great situation we're in right now with the merch.
(Not taking any responsibility for typos)
#sorry about this essay but this just needed to be said#stop turning bands into brands to make money off them#sleep token#personal rant#anyway just my opinion
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Welcome to the Shining Light Writing Event!
Schedule and other details / explanation below (Note: This is not for any specific fandom, but writing about a fandom is allowed (hence tags))
!! Warning: This event / blog talks about, references, and deals with many sensitive mental health topics, which may be triggering to some people. Interact at your own risk. Any issues that arise from this point on are on you !!
What is this event? This is an online writing event focused on different types of mental health issues/illnesses/conditions, and how styles of writing can be used to help improve & bring awareness to them!
Who can sign up, & what are you looking for? There will not be applications, instead there are open sign ups that will close once an undecided number of people have filled it out. Anyone who is 16 or older and who writes in any style is welcome to join! Poetry, short story, anything. The word range for a typical style writing piece is 300 to 3,000 words. You can focus on an original character, fandom character, or real person in your life.
When are things happening? The Discord server will open at the end of February, and a PDF of the compiled works will be released Mid-May. See the schedule graphic above for more dates, and the schedule channel in the Discord has even more specific info.
Where is it being held? There is a Discord server, the link to which will be shared in an email.
Who is running it? @th3-dark-abyss is the head mod and organizer of this event! There is a team of five other mods helping, who will be credited as well.
Why is this event a thing anyway? Abyss (that's me) is working on their Girl Scout Gold Award! It's the highest award that a scout their age can earn; it requires 80+ service hours towards a project of their choosing that has a lasting, positive impact on a community. There have been a few hurdles, but I'm pushing through and I'd really love if you applied and/or shared the posts wherever you can!
Some Rules / Guidelines ~ We will be dealing with many sensitive topics that are very real issues. Please be kind and considerate. ~ Participating in this event is for over 16 years old only. If you are younger than 16, your sign up will be deleted immediately. (Under 16s feel free to reblog and interact though, at your own risk.) ~ Discrimination or hate of any kind will not be tolerated. ~ The point of this is to spread awareness through writing, to show how creative writing can help improve mental health and well-being, and to convey different people's unique experiences. It is not to stereotype, villainize, or put issues in boxes. ~ Do not make assumptions or state things as facts when they are not. ~ Do not discount others and their experiences just because you aren't familiar. ~ The askbox is open if you have any other questions or comments!
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If you are having a mental health crisis and need help, contact 988 (National Mental Health Hotline). Here is a website with some help hotlines if you need to reach out for help. (I am in the US, so this is likely for my area. If this doesn't have one, let me know and I will help you find a line for your area.)
You are not alone ❤️
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Keep your eyes out for the sign-up form, and please enjoy!!
#Shining Light Event#SLMH Event#girl scout gold award#gold award#gold award project#girl scouts#writing#creative writing#writing event#mental health#mental wellness#mental wellbeing#mental health awareness#mental health event#mental heath support#event#new event#fandom event#(tagging my fandoms. hi guys)#hermitcraft#life series#trafficblr#arcane#the magnus archives#cw mental health#tw mental health#cw#tw
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As someone who grew up around people who generally didnt touch (as in trim) their facial hair at all for spiritual reasons, lemme tell you it varies wildly person to person among cis guys too. Or, among everyone going through T puberty I guess I should say.* Sometimes someone has a full beard at 14. Sometimes theyre 25 and they all have is a little scruff. Sometimes theyre fifty and its still thin and patchy in places. And especially teenagers have all kinds of funky growth patterns, sometimes they start with sideburns or a mustache or just patchy spots on the cheeks, and then it goes in whatever direction it likes from there. Its pretty much just genetics and luck afaik.
And just my own 2 cents, wash and condition your facial hair like you do head hair. Afaik beard oils are just gentler on facial skin if you need that, personally I just use shampoo. I think beard oil would feel fancy but its a lil expensive for me. Beard hair is thicker and coarser than other body hair, so if you dont want it to be super scratchy (which you might, Im not your boss or stylist or w/e), Id condition/look after it. I like it soft and fluffy, thats just me.
*I just notice we default talking about cis people to make things easier, but it excludes those of us trans people who went through a ...non-externally-provided***(i dont want to say natural) first puberty as well. Like what Im saying about facial hair growth patterns also applies to many trans women, and just anyone with a T endocrine system as a teenager. Im not even sure if it makes a difference if the hormones are home grown or store bought re how puberty goes, Id need some intersex people and/or early transitioned trans people to comment on that.
***there must be a better way to say this, I am all ears.
What’s your advice on encouraging facial hair growth for people starting T, are pre-T, or have been on T for a while and just really really wanna grow the most insane beard ever
Some folks will suggest topical rogaine, but remember that is very toxic to pets.
It really takes time and genetics to get your beard growth to fill out. I didn't see full coverage until like 5-7 years in.
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I hate how sonamy shippers use the "it's just slapstick, it's comedy!" argument as a get out of jail free card whenever someone criticizes Amy's bad behavior with her crush in the 2000s. That doesn't automatically excuse all criticism
Nevermind that many fans still give Tails flack for his controversial moments in Lost World and Forces, to the point where the Wildly Inconsistent line in Frontiers was an extremely on-the-nose nod to those complaints in a bid to pat itself on the back for regurgitating his SA1 arc and pretending it's new. If criticism is allowed for the divisive portrayals of the rest of the cast, it should be allowed for Amy's as well. I don't care if she got too much hate in the past, because the opposite extreme isn't any better, and that applies twice as much if it frequently involves dragging other characters through the mud or undermining their own achievements, be it Tails, Knuckles, Cream, Elise, etc.
In general, while vindication by history is one thing, the way so many blatantly bad choices have been getting the "it's actually really clever because..." retcon has been driving me batty. Battle!Amy is good now, because muh flaws (there are better ways of showing her intentional flaws). Silver trusting Mephiles immediately is good now, because muh naivety (except I thought his naivety wasn't supposed to make him an outright idiot). Eggman being upstaged in every game is good now, because it compliments muh themes (who cares about the long term damage to his reputation). I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Insert r/BatmanArkham joke here.
If any awful or questionable character moment can be spun as though it was secretly clever and well thought out all along... why bother criticising anything? Why bother criticising anything in IDW? Why bother criticising anything in Prime?
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I've had some old gods and Fell God thoughts again
(Reference by Moonlight Ruin ( x ), note that giant skulls can vary in sizes and be like 55m too)
I addressed the arrowhead description at some point before, but again; seeing how there are colossal skulls found across the Lands Between, there were 'old gods' who weren't Outer Gods and the greatsword is a tip of an arrow from their arsenal, they were REALLY big in size! Yet, also humanoid in build
I am not sure what they needed weapons for though. Who were they battling? When there are many colossal skulls, I question if that wasn't a war between their own that didn't leave survivors? Or they've lost whatever that war was? Could they have battled against Ancient Dragons, who also must have used to be bigger and stronger back then, for ownership of Elden Ring? Or it were Drakes that they were fighting, back when they were as big as the one found at Altar of Dragon Communion?
And, yeah, Fell God is never referred to as an Outer God unlike the three others, so what if he just wasn't one? Needless to mention that he is depicted as a humanoid, just cyclopic when old gods otherwise had regular two eyes! Outer Gods are just not humanoid; they're a scorpion-like creature (Scorpion's Stinger is a part of God of Rot), formless being and.. one not shown, but associated with birds!
Hornsent on the other hand envisioned him with two eyes and covered in horns, but it feels more like just an interpretation I think? Since mark of Fell God on Giants that worshipped him is still a cyclopic face with a beard, I guess this look is truer one.. just not that Hornsent would know about that!
Also could Fell God's fire be the source of fire that animates Golems and was used for forges in the Lands Between? A lot of Golems are found in Mountaintops, and they originate from Rauh too; cave where you fight Makar and cave where you fight a Golem as a boss (and find Blue Dancer charm) have Rauh architecture!
Even the Giants' forge itself has Rauh architecture! And.... well, it is forge. Can be used to create weapons. And there is fire in there. And Ancient Meteoric Ore Greatsword is found in the forge connected to Rauh as well! It is also a meteoric ore, the arrowheads of old gods weapons were made of rock from space. And you remember how Fire Giants and Astrologers were allied? A sentiment specified in Sword of Night and Flame stored in Caria, and also Japanese description of Rellana's swords saying "after all Moon and Fire were always together"! And also some Golems using magic too I guess:
Since Makar is a Magma Wyrm, so a person consuming too much Dragon Hearts (a practice of hunting Drakes), and Fire Giants were at war with Ice Drakes, maybe it really were Drakes that old gods were battling with? They were way more big and impressive in ancient history, like the dead guy on the Altar! Heck, maybe Bayle and Placidusax just shrunk in size over having lived for way too long?
Though I wonder whether Fell God was always 'Fell', or he undergone some sort of corruption? Maybe he "came back wrong" after being injured or killed at some point before Marika did it again much later in history? After all Fire Giants but one were dead, Marika realized that the fire of ruin could never be put down! That's why she cursed the last survivor to tend to it!
Basically? Maybe same thing applied to old gods; all of them died except for Fell God? He simply could not, for some reason? He could lose body, but his nature is within the fire of the forge itself...? Feels like something one would do to themselves rather than a natural thing, and he cursed himself with becoming element to lend others flame and weapons for whatever reason needed? Cursed himself with immortality to make world something else, ironically just like Marika did! Though I still love the idea that he is 'evil' because for people the use of his flame was primarily for warfare.. The flame can make rock statues into life, let alone warmth and guidance, but all everyone wanted from it was weapons and destructive power, so it rubbed onto him....
But, yeah, he is a really unusual entity, and really super ancient. As for why potential hostility of his kind towards dragons or drakes, that survived for generations? The idea of "cleaning" the landscape from dragons to build upon freed territory is something ever since Dark Souls trilogy! Elden Ring adops a bit too much from those, might as well :p
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P.S.: Nox were super ancient too, not far from ancient civilization and Rauh, and are progenitors of Astrologers and following sorcerers who originally were hostile to the Erdtree same as Flame of Ruin.. Nox also had the Black Moon, and also Night/Moon and Flame are "allies" in this lore, also Fire and Moonlight being allies is also a big DS thing.... if turns out Lord of Night and Fell God were allied and similar entities in nature I am going to have the biggest brain explosion yet. Literally no other ship would beat a yaoi like this
#elden ring#elden ring theory#elden ring observation#fell god of fire#granted iirc lord of night was never confirmed a he#like people used to think lord of Night meant Ranni ffs!#but in either case i really wonder
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Shivvy's favs of HP Secret Santa Rare Pairs
In December I participated in HP Secret Santa Rare Pairs 2024!
I read a lot (but not all) of the fics, and I would like to highlight my favourites 💕
As of Jan 8th, I have read about 103 fics out of the approx 129 of the creative writing category works! The remaining fics I either skimmed and decided they weren’t my cuppa or I still have them on my to-read list.
Again, this is completely just subjective and to my own particular tastes (which lean very heavily towards queer content). All of the writing and other creations were amazing contributions to different corners of the fandom and I know we all did our best to create amazing gifts for our giftees! Reminder: I don’t wish to receive any comments that fall out of the range of the three basic fandom courtesies: YKINMKBYKIO - Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Ok || SALS Ship And Let Ship || DL;DR - Don’t Like; Don’t Read
Yah so - if you don’t like, don’t read, n' don’t reply anything negative at me. Thank you! 💕 * But if you notice some info or link errors please let me know (tired eyes). 💛 = my brief squee/comments
Gifts I Received
Thank you so much to my gift writers! I included so many ship requests and was so happy to see I got Severus twice kekeke. 🎁 Fragile Bonds by @picklesonjupiter / picklesonsaturday 💕 Sirius/Severus || T || 309 words Sirius seeks healing from Snape, but their complicated history and growing feelings make the process more challenging. 💛 I love Severus’ hands… I love Severus being adept at using his hands… I love Severus being adept at using his hands on another man…! On Sirius! LOVE. 🎁 No Need to Hide Under These Friday Night Lights by @maraudersaffair / maraudersaffair 💕 James/Severus || E || 5,096 words James Potter is the most popular boy in school. He's even the star quarterback on the football team. And for some strange reason, he won't stop staring at Severus Snape. 💛 I swooned when I realised I’d get non-magical High School AU Princechaser!! It is so sweet and so smutty, I love it!
Fics I Went Feral For (reverse alphabetical by pairing)
🎁 the gift that keeps on giving by @the-invisibility-bloke / the_invisibility_bloke 💕 Teddy/Draco/Harry || E || 12,993 words There’s only one thing Teddy wants for Christmas: to lose his virginity. 💛 I went feral for this fic and am now obsessed with Tedrarry - the wit, the pacing, the pining, the smut…! All the comments for this are rave reviews, please read it and other fics by the author! (they write a lot of Sirry and other pairs too)
🎁 Hold onto this lullaby (even when the music's gone) by @knotsnuffles / objectlesson 💕 Sirius/Harry || E || 8,345 words The truth is, Harry doesn’t just want Sirius buying him fine robes and dressing him in them—in his heart of hearts, he wants Sirius to take him out of these robes, too. 💛 Another unstoppably fantastic Sirry fic by objectlesson! Mind the tags and if it’s your jam, curl up for fluff/smut and Sirius taking care of Harry.
🎁 speeding through red lights (into paradise) by @the-invisibility-bloke / the_invisibility_bloke 💕 Sirius/Harry || E || 9,975 words Just before fifth year, true to form, Harry does something very brave and very foolish. 💛 This turns the dial for ‘Harry Pining for Sirius’ up to max Brilliant prose by the author, highly recommend if the tags make it seem like your thing.
🎁 Pink Aster - Days Gone By by @trueliarose / Trueliarose 💕 Severus/Charlie || E || 45,664 words Fire melts ice, or so they say. Severus just hadn't thought that that applied to the ice in one's soul as well. Or, When Charlie Weasley came to Hogwarts to accompany the dragons for the triwizard turnament, he met Severus Snape. But can a short affair turn into a lovestory? 💛 This long fic has my whole heart! Severus is written wonderfully, the sex is spot on, and the atmosphere and Charlie’s care is just chef’s kiss! It spans canon and my heart aches along with Severus and Charlie as they fall in love amidst the war.
🎁 Rematch by p0intless_p0et 💕 Pansy/Ginny || T || 2,239 words In a cold, dark Hogwarts, ruled by fear and suspicion, Pansy Parkinson and Ginny Weasley find an unlikely spark on a makeshift Quidditch Field, and, much to everyone's amusement, only one of them can play Quidditch. 💛 The characterisation is just perfect, the atmosphere of Book 7 Hogwarts is stunning, and I thoroughly enjoyed this and reread it already, perfect Ginsy rivalry.
🎁 Teacups & Tankards by @schmem14 / Schmem_14 💕 Madam Puddifoot/Madam Rosmerta || M || 9,589 words Bea and Ros are best friends who learn love and trust as they suffer loss and heartbreak during the Second Wizarding War. 💛 AAAH ITS SO SWEET AND EMOTIONAL and they are perfect for each other, please, come meet these sweet ladies with their slow romance kicking off during the hardships of war. It’s infused with so much heart and sexiness, I cannot recommend this enough!
🎁 Rotten Roots by p0intless_p0et 💕 Neville/Draco || G || 2,335 words Draco Malfoy has everything he needs to complete Snape's potions work, everything but the ingredients. Neville is the Herbology professor at Hogwarts, he'll give Draco what he needs, at a price. 💛 Draco laced with guilt, and Neville's gentle hand guiding him close, showing Draco he knows him, and can be there for him. It’s suuuch a brilliant set up for a Dreville, it makes your heart ache for Draco, and Neville is so solid and steady and supportive!
🎁 Carry A Piece Of Me by @skywatcherrose / sky_watcher_rose 💕 Narcissa/Minerva || M || 3,471 words In the aftermath of a lost war, Narcissa and Minerva are just doing their best to survive - and perhaps take a little pleasure along the way. 💛 These two women, loving each other and holding strong as part of the feeble underground resistance… I love the tenderness of their intimacy during the darkness of war. Amazing portrait of these women!
🎁 A Tale of Two Tonks Women by @midnightstargazer / MidnightStargazer 💕 Andromeda & Nymphadora || T || 3,632 words Throughout her life, Tonks defies her mother’s expectations. Andromeda couldn't be prouder of her. 💛 I felt like I never understood Andromeda until this character study piece which is all about Tonks and her mother’s relationship. Very worth the read, thought provoking!
Fics I Want to Highlight (reverse alphabetical by pairing)
🎁 Brightest Witch and Brightest Star by @jinrosemoon / JinRoseMoon 💕 Sirius/Hermione || M || 511 words
🎁 The Tabby Teapot by @celestemagnoliathewriter / CelesteMagnolia 💕 Seamus/Dean & Minerva/Poppy || T || 8,768 words
🎁 Good Together by @anaxandria-writes / Anaxandria 💕 Neville/Theo || T || 800 words
🎁 The Heat of the Moment by @schmem14 / Schmem_14 💕 Marcus/Percy || E || 8,638 words
🎁 Live for Today by @schmem14 / Schmem_14 💕 Marcus/Oliver || M || 2,273
🎁 Ron Weasley: GILF Hunter by @alyceofthetogas / AlyceoftheTogas 💕 Madam Puddifoot/Ron || E || 2,456 words
🎁 Look What We Found by @daydreamingfoxglove / DayDreamingFoxglove 💕 Luna/Pansy || T || 3,048 words
🎁 Just Warming Up by briarandbone 💕 Hermione/Pansy || M || 2,102 words
🎁 Prodigal Daughters by @chemicalwildflowers / QueenOfStormySkies 💕 Hermione/Andromeda || T || 3,952 words
🎁 In the Bleak Midwinter by @apricitydays-lazynights / Apricitydays 💕 Cho/Ginny || G || 2,340 words
🎁 The Beginning of the End by @mymindisverycomplicated / mymindisverycomplicated 💕 Cho/Dudley || T || 27,265 words
🎁 Frostbitten by @mrsprobie / mrsprobie 💕 Astoria/Luna || G || 346 words
🎁 Family Is What You Make It by sky_watcher_rose 💕 Arabella/Minerva || T || 5,366 words
🎁 Gurbaith-Feuer by @mitsuki91 / MitsukiSirya 💕 Albus/Tom || E || 15,395 words
Gifts I Made
🎁 Copper and Blond Catharsis by SiobhanHazel 💕 Draco/Ron || E || 16,642 words Post-war, mild angst, porn with plot, fluff and smut etc 💛 For suniwrites - I had a great time writing something a lil dark and sweet!
🎁 [Art] Hug Him Back by SiobhanHazel 💕 Sirius/Severus || G || 💛 For Julesss - It was so fun to exercise my drawing skills with a cute Snack pic!
A Few Fav Non-Fic Entries
There were sooo many amazing art and other crafts etc! I didn't have a serious chance to look through them all again, but the ones that came to my mind as amazing are:
🎁 [game] What's that ship? by @lumosatnight / lumosatnight 🎁 [Art] So… Thank You by @sillylittlebeans / sillybeans 💕Harry/Bill || G || 🎁[Sculpture ] Lazy Sunday by @elisedonut / elisedonut 💕Percy/Oliver || G || 🎁[Comic] Kiss Me if You Can by sillybeans 💕Cedric/Harry || G || 🎁[Craft] Meet Me Outside by @sugareey-makes-stuff / sugareey 💕Marcus/Oliver || G ||
There were so many other amazing things (esp art!) but alas I have run out of steam! That’s all, it was an amazing batch of fics, I was so happy to participate and read! Kudos to everyone!
#hss rare pairs 2024#hp fic rec#fanfic rec#shivvy recs#femslash fanfic#hp wlw#hp rare pair#slash fanfiction
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